As I waited to meet another doctor in the group, I had not met, I again did not anticipate the stress or concern about another un-noticed issue. This doctor harped on my thyroid issue. "Well, what do you have? Why is it low, there is always a reason. We need to get to the bottom of this. It could cause a miscarriage risk, or low IQ, or problems after birth. You should have been followed and seen by an endocronologist (blood specialist)."
OK, well this all sounds good and appropriate right? My question is why now? I'm 16 weeks pregnant. Wouldn't this have been RIGHT to do and test at 4 weeks or even 8? Why now? Why not 11 years ago when I was diagnosed, and not at all with the last three pregnancies.
So, I have to believe yet again, it's just hoops to jump through. So I go for the second time yesterday and had more blood drawn. Like I couldn't get it right the first time and have to go back for more. So we can find out next month the results from that thyroid workup, and the AFP test, and the sonogram. The AFP will surely be positive for something since it's compared to a 35 year old. (Isn't that the stupidist thing? Can't possibly be accurate, but yet they still recommend it.) They sure don't seem like they want us to beat the odds and have a healthy baby.
Again, I wish I could have, would have, switched doctors. With my history, I know in my heart the Lord has His best interest for me and our family. But my head believes I am destined to have some sort of challenged child. I'm scared to death. I'm just afraid. Feeling so ill and tired doesn't allow any kind of joy. My girls are excited and give me joy through them learning and anticipation of the baby. But the physical and emotional challenges of this is taxing and waning my strength. There is great wisdom in this scripture:
"As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them" (Psalm 127:4-5a)
I have however seen many older women have healthy babies and delivered successfully. I'm sure I will, it's just hard baring these doctor visits on my own and staying strong emotionally. I only have one doctor left in the group to meet for the first time. Yipee. Then I can start the rounds all over again. I just need prayer. This is a very lonely place to be.
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3 comments:
*hugs and prayers*
Love ya!
Praying with you Becky.
Hey girlie. I've been through all that, too. I think the doctors just REALLY feel a need to do some serious CYA with OB patients AND with us "advanced maternal age" folks. You should have seen the hassles they gave me when I refused to have ANY genetic testing done with Abbey. And if it's any consolation at all, my pregnancy with Abbey is what convinced me that there is a reason younger women have babies! I LOVED being preggers, but by the time I had her, I was TIIIIRRREEEDDD and everything just ACHED. And the end result is oh-so-VERY worth it...so hang in there!!
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